Matt and Fern's Magical Jukebox Adventure: Taps Edition

Name: Taps

Location: 515 Westcott St.

List:

Beastie Boys, No Sleep till Brooklyn — This is it. When you come walking into Taps and jog up those steps to catch their Wednesday night specials and shoot haphazard pool on table in the back, you have got to appreciate an anthem like this greeting you at the door.

Daft Punk, Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger — Maybe a little early in the night to drop this gem, but the player earned him/herself a nice collection of tapping feet and bobbing heads.

Paramore, Ignorance — Despite a lack of angst-ridden teenagers, somehow this song came blasting out of the jukebox.

A Day to Remember, The Downfall of Us All — The point of the jukebox is to entertain yourself and the other patrons and anything this heavy seldom accomplishes that feat. I award this choice 0 points.

OneRepublic, Apologize — Meh.

New Found Glory, "???" — Maybe you're a huge New Found Glory fan, that's swell.

Michael Jackson, Billie Jean — Timely, lively, fun, you Sir or Madam have made a wise jukebox choice.

Fatboy Slim, Weapon of Choice — Sure all you can think of is Christopher Walken when this song comes on, but it's got a beat. Maybe you're trying to get the party started — this could work.

Fatboy Slim, The Rockafeller Skank — Oooh. Jukebox party foul: two songs by the same artist in a row. Penalty.

Brand New, "???" — I don't want to sound like the elderly gentleman screaming "Get off my lawn" at passing youngsters, but, "Seriously, Brand New, Get off my lawn."

Phil Collins, In the Air Tonight — The second this song starts, Mr Bartender, you need to crank it up and start looking around. There he is, sitting at the bar, long gray hair and a gray beard, he'll do it. Wait for it. It's building. Make it happen, Phil, make it happen. Blam, air drum solo.

Creedence Clearwater Revival, Proud Mary — I guess you can hold out hope for the Creedence after all, Dude.

Echo and the Bunnymen, Killing Moon — Good tune. Kinda creepy.

Talking Heads, Once in a Lifetime — A high five to you unknown jukebox selector. If the Talking Heads were an 80s cartoon hero, they would be He-Man - they are that awesome. Why don't they have a song called "By the Power of Greyskull"? Get on it Byrne.

Jukebox Awesomeness Threat Level: Chartreuse

Hey, if YOU, Jukebox Hero, would like to tell me how hugely wrong I am about any of this, or, better yet, suggest a jukebox for me to review, drop me a note in the comments below.