10 songs you should avoid on a first date

We're here to help you avoid the wrong soundtrack when you're getting ready for a first date.

Happy Valentine's Day from TheNewsHouse.com

“Just a Gigolo/I Ain’t Got Nobody” – David Lee Roth
The tawdry subject matter of male prostitution and the depths of loneliness that life engenders is dodgy subject to bring up on a date for sure. David Lee Roth is some kind of manic cartoon, one born out of bad makeup, old music video references and more mugging and crappy dancing than you can shake a stick at. Bust this video out on a date, and I’m sure before you can say “parachute pants” you’ll be spending your evening sad and lonely too. – Joseph DiDomizio

“Trapped in the Closet” – R. Kelly
If you’ve even thought about putting on ANY R. Kelly song in the context of a date, you probably don’t deserve to be on said date. Unless your companion has an affinity for voyeurism, “hip hoperas” and malapropos bubble sound effects, steer clear of all 33 chapters. – Suggested by Ian Macks

“Song for the Dumped” – Ben Folds Five
A song talking about how much you hate your former lover probably won’t sit well with a new one. – Suggested by Emmery Brakke

“Alice’s Restaurant” – Arlo Guthrie
Does your date love 23-minute, spoken-word songs? Do they love Thanksgiving? What about throwing garbage off a cliff and getting arrested for it? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, this is the soundtrack to your first date.

“Seventy Times 7” – Brand New
This song is the ultimate “f-ck you.” Unless your date’s still into high school-era revenge, Lacey’s screams hoping that you “have another drink and drive yourself home” don’t serve to set the mood.

“That’s The Way It Is” – Celine Dion
Yes, Celine Dion did the theme song for one of what many consider one of the most romantic movies of all time, but this is quite possibly the least sexy song ever. An outfit that consists of white pants and red boots played on multiple television screens in a storefront doesn’t exactly scream romance. – Suggested by Meera Jagannathan

“Baby Got Back” – Sir Mix-a-Lot
Even if you do appreciate your potential lover’s derriere, you probably don’t want to make it as obvious as Sir Mix-a-Lot does on your first date.

“Girlfriend in a Coma” – The Smiths
Much like R. Kelly’s music, anything written by Morrissey isn’t the best soundtrack for a first date. His relationship is so miserable, he can’t stand the thought of his girlfriend waking up.

“Creep” – Radiohead
Nothing says “Be my boyfriend/girlfriend” like Thom Yorke’s deep, eerie tenor, especially when he’s singing about stalking a woman he’s too scared to approach. Can anyone think of a legitimately romantic Radiohead song? I can’t.

“I Want Candy” – Aaron Carter
This song would have totally been appropriate during your first date with your Valentine in middle school, but now it’s just creepy. While Aaron Carter jumping around in shiny silver pants and a bubble coat really takes you back, it’s probably not a nostalgia trip you’d like to take in the beginnings of a relationship.

“My Way” – Limp Bizkit
If you’re incredibly inflexible and you want your date to know, this song is the perfect choice. Let Fred Durst’s bald head and perfectly-sculpted beard do the talking.

Honorable mentions:

“Can’t Be Tamed” – Miley Cyrus

“Physical” – Olivia Newton-John

Post new comment

* Field must be completed for your comment to appear on The NewsHouse
The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.