It’s Valentine's Day.
The annual celebration of both love and absolute misery. The most bipolar holiday of all.
Those who are unequivocally in love, love Valentine's Day. Duh, obvious.
For the other 99 percent of us, V-Day is simply a reminder that our potential partners either don’t exist, or have yet to be born. Fortunately, there’s just enough time to lure a psychopath into falling for you before the sun sets on yet another Valentine's Day.
On that note, here are five ways to trick someone into thinking you’re worth dating:
1) Dress the part
Studies have shown that it only takes seven seconds for us to judge another person when we first meet him or her. We all make subconscious assumptions about attraction and personality based on our initial impressions of one another. Unfortunately, this means it’s important to look sharp -- and let's be honest, Syracuse weather in February is already a test of one’s inner strength, let alone one's wardrobe. Do yourself and your potential suitor a favor and resist the temptation to throw on the sweats. If you’re one of the guys reading this and sweats are an inevitable reality for you, at least keep your hands out of your pants. I know it’s warm in there, but we can talk about that another time.
2) Don’t be shy
Society constantly tells us to wait for the “perfect moment” when we meet someone. That moment rarely exists. Nowadays, face-to-face introductions are scarce, but in the event that they do take place, they really can make a lasting impression. Don’t be afraid to introduce yourself to new people; most of them don’t bite.
3) Embrace the weird and forget about normalcy
Be all of who you are, not just the parts you think others will like. If you can admit to watching an entire season of Chopped on The Food Network in less than 12 hours and they still like you, you know they’re worth your time.
4) Avoid “b---- face”
It’s important to be approachable and welcoming. Smiling is always a game changer in a first impression. No one wants to talk to the girl who looks like she’s thinking about all the ways people die. Don’t confuse being endearing with being standoffish. Note: If you’re anything like me, this can be a challenge. Try thinking about how fun it is that puppies exist. So fun.
5) Don't forget Gertis
Last, but most certainly not least, don’t rule out Gertis as you sift through potential admirers. If you have yet to meet Gertis, you can find him on the corner of Marshall Street directly in front of Starbucks. Gertis is the most complimentary and reliable guy I know. “Hey pretty girl” never gets old.
Just saying, it’s something to think about.