Haters gon' hate. But in the Twitterverse, haters mean you've "made it." You're famous. And favoriting their hateful tweets is a way of showing it doesn't hurt you. But we can't favorite away real life haters. We should change to better fit their expectations of us.
That's the set up for the second episode of Selfie [8]. Our protagonist, Eliza (Karen Gillan [9]), the vapid and narcissistic (yes, there's really a drawing of Narcissus and the pool in the opening credits) social media maven who just wants to find some real friends and maybe fall in love, has her fair share of haters both on- and offline.
As the number one sales rep for Kindercare Pharmaceuticals, Eliza draws what might be jealousy from the women in her office. When they see her flirting with Freddy (Giacomo Gianniotti [10]), they gossip about how she got her prestigious "number one" title.
Henry (John Cho [11]), the marketing genius who has agreed to help Eliza "rebrand" her image, comes to her "rescue," covering her nearly peeking cheeks with his jacket as he follows her back to his office.
There, he tells Eliza that her clothes are not acceptable for work and she needs to think about how she is perceived in the office. She counters that her "hot" clothes help her sell drugs to "repressed old doctors."
Personally, I would much rather Eliza actually be good at her job. Hopefully, if she takes Mr. Marketing's suggestions, we'll see that she could have sold those drugs without those "tight tights and the short shorts and the high high heels." That would be a solid commentary on misconceptions about attractive young women in the workplace and the struggle to establish credibility. But I have my doubts.
Henry wants Eliza to stop giving in to sex with Freddy, pursue interests other than men and the Twitterverse and seek relationships with people who really value her.
"Don't get all slut-shamey on me just because you don't get my generation," she says.
Go girl! Stand up for your right to be casual about sex and get down with no attachments if that's your style.
Oh wait, this is not that kind of show.
"You are what Jamie Foxx and other men of my generation refer to as a 'booty call [12],'" Henry says, with an air of condescension that I could practically smell through my TV screen. "And if your behavior persists, that is all you will ever be."
Slut-shamey indeed. Remember last week [13] when I worried about where this show was going?
This could easily devolve into Henry following Eliza around, "teaching her" how to be a lady... A guy telling a woman how she "should" behave? Shaming her for wearing revealing clothes? Policing her behavior?
Welcome to episode two.
Where's the blame for Freddy, the jerk using Eliza for sex, who meets her request for a real date with cold indifference and a request for an "after-sex pic"? Eliza takes his indifference and internalizes the "booty call" label, begging Henry to help her. Creator Emily Kapnek (Suburgatory [14], As Told By Ginger [15]) could take a step back on Henry's moralizing. It's not funny.
I thought the social media references would lose their novelty by now, but the best storyline in this episode is Henry's. After he is chided by co-workers for not being on Facebook, he decides to join and is quickly sucked in. In less than 30 seconds, we watch him discover baby videos, creep on high school friends, get friended by his mom and take a quiz where he finds out he's Sansa Stark [16]. ("I always felt that.")
His foray into stalking exes leads to his tagging himself in an ex's photo of her baby, which he can't figure out how to undo. He seeks her out, and we learn that Eliza is not the only one who has had trouble connecting in real life. Whereas her crutch is social media, Henry's has been his job. When he asks his ex how she's doing, she says she's great.
"The moment I realized you were never going to care about me as much as your job, I moved on," she says. Henry ponders his choices and begins to truly connect with Eliza.
Now there's some intriguing drama. Two lonely people, caught up in the hustle and impersonality of the 21st century, save each other from themselves and find love. Here's a show that I'll keep watching.
Episode four, "With A Little Yelp From My Friends," airs Tuesday at 8 p.m. on ABC.
