Now that all the Oscar winners and losers have packed up their frothy sequined dresses, who won the most important award of all - best dressed?
To get started in this most important assesment, I've broken it down into categories: first, the winners.
Winners:
Naomi Watts - Armani Privé
The beautiful, albeit unusual architectural detailing on the shoulder make this dress an Oscar contender.
Jessica Chastain - Armani Privé
The red hair, red lip and champagne dress all come together in a fantastic Oscar-worthy ensemble.
Charlize Theron - Dior
This lady knows how to dress - choosing this stunning, shoulder-baring strapless Dior gown with her new pixie cut is perfect. Brava, Charlize.
Jennifer Lawrence - Dior
This dress is perfect. The end.
Halle Berry - Versace
Love the art deco look to this. I'm normally not a Versace fan but Halle Berry is spot on in this strong-shouldered sequin number.
Catherne Zeta-Jones - Zuhair Murad
Classic glamour award goes to Catherine Zeta-Jones, who deeps beneath lazers (thank you, Workhaholic, because I will never be able to say Catherine's name without thinking of your little ditty).
Quvenzhané Wallis - Armani Junior
Because she's adorable, and her dog purse is awesome.
Losers:
Jane Fonda - Versace
Dear Jane Fonda,
The 80's ended approximately 13 years ago. Please dress yourself and your hair accordingly.
Emily
Anne Hathaway - Prada
This dress actually wouldn't be that terrible if it weren't for the unfortunate darting that lines up with her nipples and the fact that this kind of reminds me of an Easter dress. Apparently Anne threw a fit the day of the Oscar's when she found out Amanda Seyfried's dress looked really similar to her own and demanded a new one, so she naturally chose a nipply one.
Helena Bonham Carter - Vivienne Westwood
Look, Helena, I get that you're married to Tim Burton and you're both into the whole, torn-up-goth-bohemian look, but for Pete's sake, pick a dress that doesn't look like you got it up at the mall and get your hair out of your face.
Honorable Mentions:
Alicia Vikander - Elie Saab
Amy Adams - Oscar de la Renta
Stacy Keibler - Naeem Khan
Fan Bing Bing - Marchesa
Amanda Seyfried - Alexander McQueen
Salma Hayek - Alexander McQueen
Adele - Jenny Packham
Kelly Osbourne - Tony Ward Couture
Most Interesting Choice:
Helen Hunt - H&M
I thought this dress was pretty boring until I found out she got it from H&M. Was this a promotional stunt or her way of saying "F the establishment!". Either way, it's pretty interesting that the dress came from the purveyor of cheap clothes.
Aaaand the winner is ... Jennifer Lawrence!! Cue falling up stairs segment.
Whatever. Homegirl just won Best Actress at 23 years old and also happened to wear The Most Fabulous Dress Ever.
The End.
